


Piratehood of the Traveling Penis

by ElDiablito_SF, Zoi no miko (zoi_no_miko)



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, BS Kink Meme Prompt, Crack, Dick on a walk-about, Dirty Talk, Double Penetration, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, getting fucked with your own cock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 15:27:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14897144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElDiablito_SF/pseuds/ElDiablito_SF, https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoi_no_miko/pseuds/Zoi%20no%20miko
Summary: Silver's dick goes on a walk-about.... to Flint's pants.  Miranda was only trying to help!  We all learn a valuable lesson in slipshod spell casting.This is a prompt fill for this Perfect Prompt (#27) from the BS Kink Meme:A curse strikes a Nassau pirate! Someone wakes up in the morning to find they don't have a penis! SOMEONE ELSE HAS IT NOW! Can either be two penises on a dude or a lady who gets a bonus peen! The only way to break the curse is for the original owner to be sexed up by their own migratory cock!





	Piratehood of the Traveling Penis

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nightmoth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightmoth/gifts).



> This is a Zoi & El Got Drunk and Made This™ Production. It's just as vile and ridiculous as you can imagine! Thank you, Traveling Penis Anon!
> 
> Special thanks to Mel for creating the BS Kink Meme ;) ;) ;) You are doing the Lord's work!

Flint usually rose early, more so when he still had the remnants of rum running through his veins, which was almost a daily occurrence regardless. That morning, with only one sleep-crusted eye half-open, he rolled over onto his back, limbs feeling heavier than usual, and tried to absentmindedly reach for his crotch to give it a good-morning scratch, as was tradition. While he was already in the neighborhood, Flint wrapped his fingers around his flaccid dick and gave it a friendly tug. It felt larger in his hand than normally, but then again, he did have more to drink the previous night than even he was accustomed to, so he paid the strange sensation no heed. Until, that is, he felt the definitive touch on the back of his hand of… his own cock?

“What the…” Flint muttered, tossing the covers aside. “Ah!” he squealed like a little girl who had just seen a mouse, except that the mouse was a second dick, decidedly not his own, that sprouted right above his _actual_ dick and was at the moment resting heavily inside his sweaty palm. It was markedly darker, flushed half-hard with blood from his gentle tugs, lacking the normal freckles, and yes, distinctly larger. Flint tried to decide if he felt enthralled or vaguely insulted by that last realization.

“Surely, I’m still sleeping,” Flint said to the intruder. Then, he gave it a careful slap, by way of hello, and added “Hello.”

Flint's second cock perked up more in response to this polite introduction. His first cock - regular cock - freckled cock? - certainly did as well.

"Well, I suppose if we're both amiable about this," Flint continued, giving another tug and tracing his fingers up the seam on the underside to bring this newcomer to full attention. It certainly _felt_ like it was his cock, and now that he was enjoying himself, he decided that the fact that it was larger was a definite boon. Longer. Long enough, perhaps....

A lifetime of sailing had kept Flint's body strong and limber. Never quite limber enough for this particular piece of perversion, but the length of his new cock came with definite possibilities. Flint sat up, curling over himself, stroking the base of the new cock to point it towards his questing mouth. Flint opened his mouth, just managing to tongue the slit of it as he strained forwards. Just a bit more and surely he could wrap his lips around that glorious girth! Just a bit more....

A bloodcurdling scream roused Flint from his pleasant pastime, making him lose all balance as the two engorged cocks swayed like seaweed before his face and slapped against each other.

“Captain!” A frantic knock at his door was followed immediately by Silver barging into his cabin, completely naked except for what looked like a pair of trousers held in front of his manhood. “Captain, they stole it! Someone stole my cock! Someone....” his words trailed off, staring down at Flint's crotch.

Flint watched Silver's face turn from red, to white, to a peculiar shade of purple, his lips trying to form words. If this truly _had_ been a dream, what the fuck was Silver…. dickless Silver, no less, doing in it?

"I'm sure everything is going to be fine," he started slowly. "As soon as I wake up, everything will be normal again. Right?" He glanced down at his other - Silver's? - cock, which twitched a little as if in agreement.

“What are…?” Silver quickly glanced down at his own crotch then back at Flint, who was somehow still holding the intruding dick in his hand. “What are you doing with my cock, Captain?”

“Nothing,” Flint replied too quickly. “Certainly not trying to suck it, that would be inappropriate _and_ physically improbable.”

"Why would you even - " Silver started, then shook his head, dark curls falling in his face. "No. My cock. On you. _How?!_ "

"I just woke up like this!" Flint protested. Now that Silver was in his cabin asking questions this dream was becoming significantly less pleasant. "Just - just go back to sleep, alright? I'm sure this will all work itself out when we wake up."

"You're making even less sense than _that_ is." Silver waved vaguely towards Flint's crotch.

"Well, do you have a better idea?"

Silver paused, lips pursed in displeasure as he contemplated Flint's cocks. Then he stalked across the cabin, abandoning the held trousers on the way. He did indeed seem to be completely missing his manhood, Flint noticed, perturbed. His pubis, decorated with a few dark whirls of hair, simply ended in the place where something glorious should have been. Although Flint was strangely relieved to note he still had his balls. Then, Silver was dropping to his knees in front of him, batting away Flint's hand to regard the latest addition to his anatomy.

As any hot-blooded man would when faced with an attractive mouth close to his cock...s, Flint twitched harder. Both Flints twitched harder. Silver, in the meantime, was examining the misplaced phallus with the look of a studious alchemist.

“It looks like it’s growing right out of you,” Silver finally pointed out, his blue eyes brimming with tears. “How the hell could this happen! Give it back!”

“Look, trust me, buddy - I would if I could,” Flint lied. In truth, he was rather enjoying his new friend. “And anyways, I didn’t choose to have this fucked-up dream, it just… It just…”

“Flint!” Silver was shaking him by the shoulders. “It’s not a fucking dream! You really have my cock growing out of… your cock! This is happening, Captain, so we need to think of a very real solution to this very peculiar problem!” Then, because Silver had always been a prick, he slapped Flint across the face. “See? It’s not a dream!” he shouted.

"Ow! What the fuck?" Flint jerked back, pressing a palm to his stinging cheek.

"Exactly!"

Flint looked down at his cocks, then up again. "... dicks don't... _do_ this," he started, sounding far less convinced than he wanted to. "If this isn't a dream, then what the hell is it?"

"Don't ask me, you're the one with my cock!"

Flint frowned, wrapping his hand around the unit in question as he tried to think. He'd always prided himself on being an excellent strategist, but even he had to admit that at times a higher power was needed to solve some problems.

"Stop that!" Silver sounded even more scandalized, and Flint glanced down to find that he'd begun to idly fondle himself while thinking.

"I'm trying to figure this out, alright?"

"Well, stroke your own damn cock!"

Flint shrugged, moving his hand to the second unit. Still a magnificent specimen, he concluded, even if it wasn't quite the Long Dong Silver’s.

"Stop, that's even worse!" Silver threw his hands up, stalking across the cabin to where his trousers had fallen and pulling them back on. He pointed a finger at Flint accusingly. "Now listen to me. I'm going to bed. You... you finish doing whatever and figure out a way to fix this.”

“What are you going to bed for?” Flint huffed, mostly out of annoyance at Silver’s impertinent tone. “It’s not like you lost an arm or a leg! You can still perform your duties without your…” _Glorious… magnificent…_ “Stupid cock! Get back into the galley and peel some potatoes!”

By the way Silver had slammed the cabin door, Flint was quite sure he was going to do anything _but_ follow that firm, albeit spiteful, order.

***

Not that Miranda would ever admit to this in mixed company, but there was a lot more growing out there in her garden than root vegetables. One never knew when one might need a pinch here, a little dash there. It wasn’t solely for spellwork, of course, sometimes she liked to spice up her wine with an herb or two as well. What else was she supposed to do, stuck out in the middle of the armpit of New Providence Island with nothing but prairie animals and horny clerics for company?

It was all James’ fault, really. James’ misery was a contagion, one that she had attempted to cut off at the root the previous night. She had seen the way that curly haired shipmate of his had been looking at him. The way he’d been looking at _her_ , good Lord! Such jealous fire in his lapis lazuli gaze. He was a coveting little animal, and all animals were ruled by nature. All she had to do was give nature a little push.

She sighed looking out the window. Perhaps even now James was waking up somewhere out there, upon the seas, feeling lax and pleasantly fucked. Perhaps he would finally be happy. Perhaps _they all_ could finally be allowed to be happy. She stirred her tea and took a sip. She’d added a pinch of something special to her tea as well, to counteract the mixture of the previous night. She could still feel her brain slowly stirring from the stupor into which she had descended in her melancholy.

The sound of horse hooves startled her, followed by a frantic holler of “Miranda!” which did not at all sound like the tone of the well and properly fucked. Miranda frowned and set the tea down. “Miranda! God dammit!”

“In here!” she called from her kitchen.

James strode in, and even from his movements she could tell he appeared more burdened that usual. For a brief moment she thought that perhaps all was well after all, and he'd simply been fucked until he couldn't walk properly. Then James was ripping his trousers down to fall around his ankles, and everything became terribly clear.

"Oh," she heard herself say faintly, and blindly felt for her teacup.

“OH,” James repeated after her. It was all the eloquence the situation required and Miranda slowly lowered herself into one of her chairs.

“Is that…?” she began, weakly.

“...John Silver’s giant cock, yes.”

“But it’s…”

“Quite firmly attached, indeed.”

Miranda groaned and rose from the chair, averting her gaze from the flopping monstrosity before her eyes. Something had to have gone wrong... but what? In retrospect, it occurred to her that she'd had quite a bit of wine when she'd had the brilliant idea to solve all of James' problems - in fact, that was likely _how_ she'd had the idea. But surely she hadn't been quite so far gone as to....

"I need to check something," she said, and turned for the remnants of last night's wine bottle.

"I hope that's for me," James muttered as she poured the remnants into a glass.

"It would be a very bad idea for a man to drink this particular blend," she said, taking a sniff and recoiling as her eyes watered from its potency. "However, if you're in need of... good god, James, put your trousers back on!"

James pouted, retrieving the abandoned garment from around his ankles. "Just tell me you can fix this. You can, can't you?"

"That all depends on how it was done." Miranda set the glass aside, trying to remember how on earth she'd added so much of the herb. She crossed the kitchen to open the door to the stove, gingerly poking about in the ashes for the remnants of last night's efforts. The paper was mostly still whole, she discovered with relief, setting it down on top of the stove top and smoothing away the ash to try and read the smudged writing.

Her work, which through the blur of her memories, had been brilliantly executed, was significantly less so in the light of sobriety. Miranda felt her stomach drop down to her toes.

"... what is that?" James asked, voice low with growing suspicion.

Miranda tried to ignore him, reading over the remainder of the runes. It was normally such a simple thing, really. Setting two people on this kind of a course. Nature did most of the work on its own, the spell was simply an encouragement. Except, of course, that this rune definitely said _on_ and not _in_ , and that was a very, very serious piece of unintended spellwork indeed.

Of course, there were ways to fix a wayward spell. If James would be open to listening.

"Darling," she started carefully, "I have some bad news, and some... potentially not so bad news."

***

In the privacy of one of the rooms of Ms. Guthrie’s tavern, Flint was having an entirely unthinkable conversation.

“Mrs. Barlow is a what?” Silver’s eyes grew very wide and very frightened. “She did a what?”

“Listen,” Flint sighed, his own head still throbbing from the bevy of the day’s revelations. “The details aren’t important. The point is, we can fix this thing!”

“Great!” Silver exclaimed, eyeing the bulge in Flint’s trousers hungrily, albeit not for reasons that he’d grown accustomed to. “Let’s do this! How do we do this?”

“You have to…” And then Flint muttered something indecipherable under his breath.

“Speak up, man! My cock is on the line!” Silver exploded with anticipation. “I have to what???”

“You have to fuck it,” Flint blurted out.

"I have to _what?!_ "

"She was very clear about it," Flint repeated, jutting his chin out with conviction. " _From whence it came it must return ere the spell can be broken._ That means... you know."

"That makes absolutely no sense," Silver replied, taking a step backwards and trying not to believe what he was hearing. As many times as he'd fantasized about Flint, it certainly hadn't been anything like this! "My cock did not come out of my ass!"

"I said the same thing!" Flint said, nodding in a way that seemed very relieved. "But she said - you know, magic is magic. It’s not always literal. So."

Silver’s posture spoke very much of him not being on board with this entire scenario. “Is this what you and your mistress are into? Double dicks? Getting me to fuck you when I’m junkless?”

“No!” Flint protested with obvious disgust. “Do you really think I’d want to fuck you with _your own_ cock! I mean…” He wasn’t actually sure _what_ he meant. “Look, this is just as uncomfortable for me as it is for you, all right.”

“Except two dicks are so much better than none!”

“I can see why you’d think that, in your current predicament, but believe me - I want this thing back on you, where it belongs, _just_ as much as you do! I’ve been walking with a limp all day. The crew’s starting to talk!”

“Ugh, fine,” Silver said, unbuttoning his trousers. “Fuck me with my dick. Let’s get this over with.”

Flint watched Silver drop his trousers and kick them aside, bending over the edge of the bed and spreading his thighs. It... was not the sight he imagined it would be. Silver's ass was magnificent, of course, toned and pert, his ass cheeks round, the cleft between them exceedingly fuckable. But while such imaginings would normally leave him rearing to go, Silver's businesslike attitude was rather putting a damper on his mood.

Still, he owed it to Silver to try. Flint unbuttoned his trousers, giving a sigh of relief as both cocks were freed. Then he wrapped his fist around Silver's magnificent one, giving it a few strokes to try and convince it to get with the plan. "I suppose we should find some oil," he suggested weakly. "All things considered... you have a very long dong."

"It's true," Silver admitted, then straightened. "I'm sure Eleanor keep something in stock...."

Flint kept his eyes on Silver's ass as he walked to the other side of the bed, still doing his best to rouse some passion and feeling more frustrated at Long Dong's lack of response. Frowning, he took his other cock in his other hand.

It didn't help. It definitely didn't help when Silver turned around and caught sight of him. "Ugh, really?"

"Look, I'm trying my best here! This isn't exactly how I imagined fucking you!"

"Well, this isn't exactly how I imagined getting f...." Silver stopped, as if realizing at the same time Flint did exactly what he had said. The gaze of his sea-blue eyes went from perturbed to strangely, adorably shy, catching his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment as he looked down at Flint's cocks again. "... really?"

"Don't act all surprised," Flint replied, trying to force a gruffness to his voice. "You're the one wiggling your tight little ass all over the deck of my ship."

“Oh please, like you’re so innocent, strutting around in those tight leather pants all stretched over your thighs…” Silver barely finished that sentence before he had to wipe a small dribble of drool from the corner of his mouth.

“That’s…” Flint’s entire face was on fire. “Nice of you to notice,” he muttered and turned away with a final curse of, “Fuck!”

At least, he reflected, Long Dong was beginning to get with the program. Apparently it, as much as Flint, desired to be wooed. Damn it.

“Is it true, then?” Silver’s voice caressed the back of Flint’s neck. “You… want me, Captain?”

“I…” Flint began, startled by the soft touch of Silver’s fingers on his arm. “I… like you, Silver.” Which was so much worse than just _wanting_ him. “And yes, I want you, too.”

Silver’s other hand was on the nape of Flint’s neck now, fingers forcefully moving against Flint’s skull to turn him aboutface. Flint’s eyelashes fluttered like shy butterfly wings before he lifted his eyes to meet Silver’s gaze.

“Then why aren’t you kissing me?” Silver asked with a swift swipe of his tongue along his lower lip. And Flint didn’t have a particularly clever answer to that question, so he simply allowed the pressure of Silver’s fingers upon his neck to guide him until their mouths slotted together with surprising sweetness.

The corner of Flint's mind that wasn't completely overwhelmed by the warmth of Silver's lips registered that his cocks were clearly just as amazed and enthralled by this as he was, jerking to attention in a way that they hadn't since he'd woken up with them the morning before. Flint groaned, fingers grabbing for the small of Silver's back in return, pulling him closer. It was incredible, Flint thought dizzily, to have the other man pressed so close, the full length of his strong body pressed warmly against his own. It felt even better to allow his hands to cup the glorious globes of that pert ass, squeezing tight and pulling him closer, feeling a surge of satisfaction at the helpless gasp it pulled from Silver's lips.

"Mine," Flint growled against his mouth, fingers fondling his ass. In punctuation he let his cocks push into the warmth of Silver's stomach.

“Mmmm,” Silver agreed while chewing on Flint’s lower lip. “Now, come on, fuck me so we can break this ridiculous witch curse, so that I can fuck _you_ with _this_.” His hand closed around his own phallus which gave an enthusiastic twitch in his grasp and sent a pleasurable jolt up Flint’s spine.

“Saucy minx,” Flint proclaimed, turning Silver back around as he scooped up a bottle of olive oil from a nearby shelf. “Go on, boy, get on your knees.” Now that he was assured that his touch wouldn’t be abhorrent to Silver, he found the entire situation a lot more motivating than a few minutes ago.

Silver’s body was warm and glistened with a fine sheen of perspiration under Flint’s touch as he spread those gorgeous asscheeks apart and circled the puckered orifice with an oily digit. It twitched under his touch, and Flint's Long Dong pulsed in response, as if the two were connected in pleasure. Well, they certainly would be soon, Flint thought, easing two fingers carefully past the tight ring of Silver's ass. And soon could not come soon enough.

"God, Captain..." Silver's needy whine sent another pulse of desire through him as he pressed back into the penetration of Flint's fingers, back arching to present himself more.

When Flint thought him adequately stretched (which was some kind of a guess since he’d never fucked another man with something this size before), he finally lined the meaty invader up with Silver’s orifice, his own - permanent - cock sliding between his thighs to nuzzle against his balls.

“Think of this as a once in a lifetime opportunity,” Flint felt compelled to proclaim as he began to slide into the perfect tightness of Silver’s slicked up channel. And then, as the burning heat of Silver's ass enclosed him, found himself momentarily unable to think of anything else.

"Oh, fuck...." Silver's groan was nearly as gratifying as the feel of his ass - throaty and wanton. He tightened around Flint's new cock, shuddering visibly as he pushed back against him. "Fuck, I'm so big...."

"I'd call you a fucking narcissist if I didn't have better things to think about," Flint managed to reply, rocking deeper with gradual thrusts. He stroked his hands over Silver's ass, squeezing his cheeks, pulling them further apart. God, how was it possible for Silver to look so glorious? "You alright?" he asked quietly, and Silver groaned, hips undulating, impaling himself on his own cock.

"So good," Silver panted, fingers twisting in the sheet. "Feels so good. Fuck me, Captain, please!"

Flint bucked up into him in response to his words, rocking deep with a hard thrust as if his cock had a mind of his own. There was a slight strangeness to it, an awkwardness of feeling his other cock bump up against the underside of Silver's balls, also hungry and leaking, as he buried himself to the hilt. He took Silver by the hips and shifted closer, driving down into him and angling to rub his other cock more firmly into the soft skin behind his sack.

"Oh fuck yeah...!" Fighting against the grasp of Flint's fingers, Silver pushed back against him eagerly. At the same time he pressed his thighs closer together around Flint's other cock, a rush of sensation that nearly made Flint's brain stop.

"Dirty little thing," Flint growled, rising to his challenge and picking up the pace. God, but Silver's ass was made to fuck, he couldn't help but think, and before he could stop himself he was telling him so, rutting into him more urgently. "Your hungry little ass is so damn tight around my cock... feels so fucking good!"

Silver gave a choked, needy sob under him, resting on his forearms to bury his face in the sheets. "More," he gasped, shuddering. "Please, Captain...."

"More?" Flint buried himself to the hilt and took a moment to stay there, grinding against the pert globes of his ass and giving a soft hiss as Silver's thighs pressed tighter around him. "You needy little cockslut. But I suppose this is a once in a lifetime opportunity...."

Silver whined as Flint pulled away to reach for the olive oil again. "I didn't say you could stop!"

"Shhh," Flint murmured, drizzling more down the crack of his ass and over his winking, loosened hole. "Just be patient, little darling. Give you everything you want...." He fisted more oil over both cocks, then moved back, teasing him with the head of Silver's cock.

It was perfect, he realized quickly as he started to press back into him, watching Silver's ass stretch around the flared head. If he wrapped his hand around both the cocks his own nestled perfectly under Silver's, just right. He rolled his hips against him slowly, letting the head of his own cock rub against the stretched tight rim of Silver’s ass.

"What are you - " Silver started, the drew a sharp hiss as Flint pushed against him more firmly. "Oh fuck...!"

"You want this?" Flint murmured, pushing a little harder. "I think you do, don't you? I think the thought of being stuffed full of both my cocks is driving you wild, isn't it?"

Under him Silver gave a little frustrated whimper. "One of them is mine!" he pointed out again. "And you're being a terrible tease right now!"

"I think right now it's mine to do with as I like," Flint growled back, and on his next thrust felt Silver's ass stretch around the intrusion, opening up to his second cock. He felt too tight, impossibly tight, and then Flint was seated inside him, encased in the perfection of him.

Under him, Silver shivered visibly, clenching and fluttering around his cocks. Beautiful, Flint thought, feeling an uncontrollable rush of love for him. Curling around him, he nosed aside Sliver's curls to press a kiss to the back of his neck. "My darling," he breathed, rocking gently against him. "Such a good boy... so tight around my cocks, so full...."

"So full," Silver echoed in a gasp. He found one of Flint's hands on the sheets, twining their fingers together tightly. "God, Captain, I can't...."

"So good," Flint breathed again, starting to move in him. He nuzzled under Silver's ear. "My beautiful darling... taking me so good... feel so fucking good, Silver!" It was far, far too good - Flint could feel his orgasm approaching too fast. Did he really want this to end? The glory of fucking Silver with his own cock... could anything ever compare?

Then, Silver was clenching tighter around him, impossibly tight, crying out into the mattress as his climax broke over him in tangible shudders. Flint stuttered deeper, closing his eyes to the exquisite sensation and finally, finally tumbling over the edge with him, filling him as both cocks claimed ownership of his ass with hot spurts of seed.

Flint did not remember falling asleep, or rather passing out from the wave of pleasure that subsumed them both, but when he finally opened his eyes, it was to find himself still entangled in a web of limbs, nostrils full of Silver’s unruly curls. His own body still hummed, buzzing with the energy of the love-making, or possibly from the magic that had been the inadvertent cause of it all. Flint’s heart clenched at the errant thought of it - it had not _all_ been the magic, surely.

As if sensing his fears, Silver stirred and pressed deeper into his arms. Flint hid his smile in the dark mane of his hair. His hand snuck carefully down his own body, relieved to find only his own cock, lying soft and spent between his thighs.

“Christ…” Flint muttered against Silver’s ear. “Tell me it went home and not to Billy.”

A firm press from Silver’s hips was a sufficient response. The wayward traveler had returned to its rightful owner.

As relieved as Flint was, he couldn't help but feel a hint of regret. Whatever Miranda's intentions had been, having Silver's cock had brought him something that he'd wanted for a very long time, and he suddenly realized that in the chaos since it had happened he'd hardly thought about his vendetta against England at all. Would things still be the same, now that Silver had his cock back?

As if hearing his thoughts, Silver nuzzled a kiss to his earlobe. "You do realize that once we've napped it's going to be my turn to fuck _you_ with my cock, don't you?"

Flint felt a rush of relief and turned to kiss him in response. Perhaps it wasn't attached to him anymore. But Silver's cock was still _very_ much his.

~~ The End! ~~

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell us if you liked this: we won't judge ;)


End file.
